Trying for form a new plan

I have all these ideas. Now that I’m not really employed by anyone I figure the best way to spend my time is figure out a new business. While also working on this. COuld this be a business? It’s difficult to keep one eye on the present and future while conjuring up the past and all its foibles. I need to be able to do both somehow.

I’ve hired an attorney because I feel like that was my big mistake before is that I didn’t have an attorney, Well one of the many reasons that I quit Free Bread is that most of the mistakes I made over the years were onces that could have been avoided if only I had paid a lawyer. But I didn’t have time for a lawyer, or the money for the lawyer. Not that I have the money for it now, but fuck it, I am paying this lawyer to help me learn to make and manage my rights. Because you see when i had the business i felt like i had no rights. Can you believe that? How can anyone who owns a business not have rights?

I didn’t have rights because I had no control. I had no control over the business. No ability to stop it. Other than completely stopping it. It was its own insane machine. The employees, the payroll nightmares, the countless hours of terror of not being able to afford my ingredients: the ingredients! paying those ingredient expenses, paying the rent, paying the this, paying the that. I was constantly paying people, left and right. It was a mess. I couldn’t afford to take care of it properly. And I didn’t ask for help. and the reason I had no money was like actually like 100 reasons.

The first obvious question is – you cant be making a profit. Thing is I was making enough of a profit to keep it going for 7 years. I did have a profitable business but I didn’t have anyone to manage it. Manage the ingredients, manage the costs, manage the rent bill, manage the contracts (see lawyer here) manage the paperwork. I did it all. And I did a HORRRRRRRRRIBLE job. Because each section of the business had its own problems. It was my first business, maybe, maybe my last one. It left me feeling bloodied. I’m tired of feeling bloodied.